Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Facebook Behavior Classification

I have no doubt that very soon there will be a branch in psychology where people specialize in human behavior on Facebook. There is really a lot you can tell about a person by their
Facebook activity or lack there of for that matter. In fact recruiters are already checking
people's Facebook content before hiring them. Here is my very unscientific Facebook Behavior Classification just for laughs.
CAUTION: If you get offended easily, lack a sense of humor or take things personally STOP reading right now!

  1. The “Frequent updater”
    We all know way too many people of this kind. It does not need an explanation. You know them from status updates like, “I just took a breath” and sharing links like “what your horoscope says”. These people are probably extroverts who believe whatever they do or say has value for others.
  2. The “Passive member”
    This person really does not care about and see value in Facebook. They joined one day after their friends really pushed them to, but never caught the bug. They are too busy with their lives to really care about facebook. They are probably very private introverts.
  3. The “Nosy observer”
    These people appear to be passive, but are not passive at all. In fact they check their facebook account very frequently because they really need to know what everyone is up to. You never see any notifications or updates from them because they either lack the confidence to come out and say or share something, are REALLY paranoid about their privacy, or want to appear cool and above and beyond this facebook thing. Regardless, be careful with these people. I have personally deleted a few of this kind from my friends list!
  4. The “Enthusiastic friend”
    This person just likes whatever you say, post, or share. He is agreeable and really needs to please everyone. You could say these pleasers are very conservative too because you rarely see any activity other than liking from them.
  5. The “Mysterious ones”
    These people really crave attention and want you to give them love and ask them what they mean by their continuous vague updates. They say things like, “I wish...” or “I finally did it..” or “I feel sad...”. Then they wait for someone to ask them what they mean. Sometimes their response is “I will call you later and tell you in person” which begs the question, Why share the update in the first place?!
  6. The “Depressed poet”
    These people just post poetry or anything that has to do with pain, distance, unrequited love, injustice, etc. There is just too much pain, oppression, intolerance and unfairness in this world for them to stay quiet. Often their profile picture has them smoking a cigarette or shows them with their head down. I bet a doctor can just take a look at their profile and prescribe anti-depressants for them. Hey, here is a way Facebook can reduce our healthcare costs!
  7. The “Motivator”
    The Motivators on the other hand are always positive and want to pump you up by comments like “Life is great”! BUT don't be fooled by the surface. I think in reality these people are as depressed as the other group and their rhetoric is really to pump themselves up. If you ask me, they are really talking to themselves.
  8. The “Paranoid”
    These people have changed their names and do not display a picture of themselves in their profile picture either. If you ask them why, they say they are worried about their privacy. I am not sure what they are protecting when you actually see lots of their pictures, posted and tagged by their friends.
  9. The “One with no common sense”
    These people are the complete opposite of the Paranoid group. You are often astonished by the intimate details that these people share on their facebook page. The word privacy does not exist in their vocabulary. They engage in very public conversations about their sex life, the girl they picked up at the bar, how they were cheated on, their weight loss struggle, etc. Not to mention the four letter words you just wish they had not included in their comments!
  10. The “ONLY facebook friends”
    These people are not really your friends. They just added you because they wanted to have a larger number of friends. You get introduced to them somewhere, they add you as a friend the next day, you accept out of courtesy, and next thing you know you run into them at another event and you don't even exchange greetings! I have deleted a few of this kind from my friends list as well.

Well, I hope you liked my list. If you did, (or did not for that matter) please leave me a comment.There are may more groups such as The Business Person, The Political Activist, The Spammer, The One with Childhood Picture and Changed Name whom you struggle to recognize, and The Constant List Creator (who? Me? Nahhh!) that I didn't put in the list to keep it short! Looking forward to reading your comments. Happy Facebooking!


  1. You forgot the ones who only put a smiley face (or any kind of face) :)or do they go under number 4?

    I can now see people queuing here or in your inbox saying "do me..." "do me..."

  2. LOL... yeah, smiley goes under 4 :-)